The Dark Lord's Much Needed Vacation
by childofflameandwave
Summary: Dark Lord Voldemort needed a vacation. He even had the perfect plan so that his followers would not even notice his weeklong spree. Too bad his closest horcrux resided in Harry James Potter, the "Brat-Who-Lived"!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Characters.**

**Prologue; Chapter 1/9**

**This story came to me in the usual way…overindulgence of caffeine and sugar (is there any other way?) ^.^**

**The Dark Lord's Much Needed Vacation**

Voldemort was tired. Who knew using a dark ritual to return his soul to a body, an insufficient, ugly body, but a body none the less, was so exhausting. Not to mention having to corral his Death Eaters into some sort of order. Ever since his original body was destroyed in his first attempt to off the Potter brat, his Death Eaters have been leaderless. What with half of his inner circle getting themselves caught and sent to Azkaban, while the other half either bribed or claimed that he, the Dark Lord Voldemort, Imperio'ed them, or both, but either way they repudiated him to get out of trouble. And, without any leadership whatsoever, the lesser intelligent of his followers have run amok.

For the last two years, when he wasn't trying to off the Potter brat and Dumbledore or trying to figure out that damned prophecy, the Dark Lord was rebuilding his army and trying to get them all trained once again. When he was first restored, he waited a few months, regaining his strength, not that he told anyone that, before he broke his loyal Death Eaters out of the wizarding prison. Voldemort also punished those who had denied him, especially those who called him a mad man in court. A madman, him? Sure, he might be a little extreme in his convictions, but he was not insane. Even if his past exploits would say otherwise…and he would burn any dictionary that said otherwise.

All of the stress had pushed Voldemort to this point, he needed a vacation, just a small one, but one nonetheless. The nagging thought that he had spent ten years as a spirit away from this kind of stress was quickly pushed aside with the argument that even when he was a spirit he was trying to gain his body back and that was stressful in itself. So feeling more than justified, Voldemort felt more than justified using the obscure spelled ritual he found in the Malfoy library last night.

The ritual would give him a pseudo body, a body in any form he wanted, and he would be able to manifest said body anywhere. Voldemort had it all planned out, he was going to spend his week in what the many witches of his youth claimed was his very sexy teenage body, on a Caribbean beach surrounded by lots of women with loose morals. He was hoping to laid, it had been twelve years since the last time, and that was with Bellatrix, who now looked as insane on the outside as she always was on the inside. And being completely frank with himself, he knew even a succubus would steer clear of his current form. Even he, the great Dark Lord, could not stand looking at himself in the mirror, which coincidently is the reason, all of the manors mirrors shattered his first night back.

To prevent his hard work in retraining his followers from fading away again, Voldemort was going to tweak the spell just a bit. With a little tweaking, once the spell sent his soul into his chosen pseudo body, the same spell would usurp one of the soul pieces from one of his various horcruxes and place it, temporarily, into his physical snake like body. When the week was over, he would return back to his body, his horcrux would regain its soul piece, and he would be much, much more relaxed. Nothing could go wrong with this plan, it was brilliant.

The night of the new moon, the darkest night of the month, had finally approached. Voldemort was very excited, for his spelled ritual called for the spells to be cast on the new moon. Sneaking away…no, not sneaking, Dark Lords do not sneak, strolling quickly making sure no one could see him, Voldemort made his way to the meadow he had prepared earlier in the day.

Upon reaching his destination, the Dark Lord disrobed and then strolled naked to the center of the field where a cauldron awaited him. Beside the cauldron sat a table holding a map, a spelled pin inserted in his intended destination on the map, a doll made of the purest white wax, and an old school picture taken of him at graduation.

Voldemort quickly picked up his old picture and pressed it into the wax figure, once done he gently lowered the doll into the simmering cauldron. Then, the Dark Lord grabbed the map, and put it too, into the cauldron.

Speaking in parseltongue, Voldemort started his chant, ~* For time of seven days. Chosen body, chosen place. Place thy soul in chosen form. Replace the space, with newest bit of thine own soul.*~

Completing the chant, Voldemort stepped back and waited for the ritual to take effect. The book did not mention a set time it took for the ritual to work, but he figured it would be instantaneous. After half an hour of waiting, the Dark Lord was livid. He needed a vacation and the ritual did NOT work!

Irked, Voldemort stomped back to his robe and donned it, leaving the field, and the parts of the ritual, as it was.

Upon reaching the Riddle Manor he called out for his most pathetic follower. "Wormtail!"

"Ye…ye…yes Mamamaster?" A fat and balding man whimpered as he entered the entry hall to cower before his master.

"Give me your arm Wormtail!"

Voldemort wasted no time as he snatched the pale, pallid arm that slowly rose from the shabby robes. Forcing the forearm up, the Dark Lord sharply placed the tip of his wand to the only part of Wormtail that was worthwhile, Voldemort's Dark Mark. Pushing his magic through his wand and into the Dark mark, Voldemort called forth Lucius Malfoy.

Within moments of the call being sent, Lucius Malfoy strode through the door. Seeing his master standing there waiting for him, Lucius fell to his knees and bowed.

"You called for me Mas…"

"Crucio!" Voldemort cut off Malfoy's voice. As the owner of the book the ritual came from, Malfoy was more than responsible for his anger. Soon the air was filled with the sounds of agony. Once Voldemort's anger had faded away to disappointment, he let up on the curse. By this time, of course, Lucius was no more than a puddle of whimpering flesh, painted white in pain.

With a last glare, Voldemort dismissed the two Death Eaters from his sight, stalking off to his room so that he could find his bed.

Harry tossed and turned in his bed, a common occurrence since the time Voldemort rejoined those with flesh. In fact the only thing that separated this nightmare from previous ones was the subject matter. Tonight's topic made Harry more appreciative of the Death Eater meetings he normally dreamed about. In fact, he might just be scared for life after the thought of Voldemort having sex with Bellatrix or playing with himself.

When the dreamed turned to Voldemort's plan for a vacation, and what the ritual would involve, Harry was intrigued. He watched as Voldemort set up the field during the day, then when he returned later that night and performed the ritual. When Lucius was tortured, Harry just cringed, this was more of what he was used to during one of these nightmares.

Used to the Voldie nightmares, he knew this one was reaching its conclusion when Voldemort prepared for bed. Harry mentally gagged, when Voldemort striped himself of his robe before slipping naked, under the sheets.

When Voldemort fell asleep, Harry expected to slip into his own dreams for the night. When he failed to return to his dreams or wake up in a sweat, Harry became confused with the situation. With nothing better to do, as it seemed he was stuck in the dream for awhile longer, Harry decided to count down the time.

He watched as the clock marked the time. When the clock struck one, he realized it had only been an hour since the ritual was enacted. He was still there when the clock stuck two in the morning, the only relief from his boredom were the few snippets of dreams he caught from Voldie's mind. Who knew the big, bad Dark Lord dreamed of cute baby bunnies?

Harry watched as the clock struck 2:58, when 2:59 came around there was a change in perspective. Harry's view of the vision went from third person observer to a first person view point. At the time of the change, Voldemort sprung awake in bed before falling back. When the clock struck three, the bewitching hour, Voldemort/ Harry was engulfed by a flash of fuchsia light. When the clocked struck 3:01am, Harry was alone in Voldemort's mind.

In control of Voldemort's body, Harry sat up in the bed. It seemed that Tom Marvolo Riddle had vacated his body, he was nowhere to be seen. Deciding it was time to wake up, Harry pinched Voldie's arm until it was bruised, he stopped when the pain registered. No matter what he tried, Harry could not awaken himself.

Then Harry remembered what he watched earlier this night, in all honesty, how could he forget Voldemort's ritual; it was just three hours ago. He guessed, based on the absence of Voldemort that the ritual worked. Voldemort must be off in the Caribbean lounging in the sun, having his vacation away from his duties. Harry was confused as to why he was stuck in Voldemort's body, considering the spell called for Riddle's soul bits. He was just about to chalk it up to the 'Randomish Shit Happens to Harry Potter' file before he recalled the conversation he had with Dumbledore before he was sent off on his annual summer torture session with the Dursley's.

According to the Old Man, Voldie was prepared to create his last horcrux, before he could place his soul into an object, he had the bright idea to off baby Harry and use his death as the required sacrifice. When his mother threw herself in front of Voldemort's first Avada Kadavra, her love for Harry gave him a shield of love…Harry thought Dumbledore was lacing his lemon drops with some really strong potions, a love shield honestly…so that when Voldemort tried to kill him in the same way, the 'love shield' repelled the ghastly green light, leaving a lightning bold scar on baby Harry's forehead, back to Voldemort killing his mortal body. And, according to Dumbledore, because Voldemort performed the required murder, his soul bit flew out and attached itself to Harry, turning him into Voldie's newest horcrux.

Harry did not want to believe that he had a piece of Voldemort's soul inside of him, so he did a little research via Owl Order on souls, minds, and meditation. After hours and hours of meditation, Harry was able to find his magical core and what he found socked him. One of the books, Know Thyself, had an entire paragraph on core and soul magic and how to cast a diagnostic on the two.

According to the diagnostic, when Harry was eighteen months old his magical core spiked in response to a powerful spell cast against him, he figured this would have been Voldie's Avada Kadavra. Just after his core fought the spell off, a leach made of dark soul matter was attached to his soul. Dumbledore was semi-right, Harry did become Voldie's horcrux that night. Over the next few years, Harry translated from the diagnostic, his core and soul magic banded together and 'ate' Voldemort's soul part…or at least incorporated into Harry making it apart of him instead of a parasite. The eating of Voldie's soul broke whatever the mental connection between Harry and Voldemort (Harry did not even know there was a connection, Voldemort having been a ghost for the years Harry was eating his soul and without a mind could not connect to Harry), allowed Harry to keep whatever powers he got the night of the attack (parseltongue and a talent for persuading people to his side) with no chance of losing them, and effectively destroyed horcrux (two down and several to go).

That meant, unfortunately for Harry, that he could, technically, be seen as a whole Voldemort of sorts by some soul magics. And, according to the dream last night, Voldemort was casting soul magic to use some of his soul bits, which meant that Harry was the 'wholest' Voldie soul bit around and so he was used.

Gathering his Gryffindor courage, Harry got out of bed (a nice bed actually) and made his way across the room to the wardrobe.

"Oh Merlin, my eyes!" Harry had forgotten that snaky Voldemort had stripped before he got into bed, Harry now in Voldie's body had the non-pleasure of being a naked Voldemort (a sight not unlike looking into a Basilisk's eyes…instant death). He whimpered as he bemoaned the loss of his young, Quidditch toned body, and gathered the discarded robe so that he no longer had to look at the pallid flesh he now inhabited.

Robed, Harry passed the bathroom (he decided he could hold it and that he didn't need a shower for awhile…he would just get dirty anyways), stopping only to grab the phoenix wand, before heading out of the bedroom. He knew Voldie sent all of his death minions home so he was alone in the mansion, well alone with Wormtail, but it was a big place and Voldemort couldn't stand the rat either so he would not be roomed anywhere close to Voldie's room.

Harry peeked into each door he came across…either Voldemort hired an interior decorator or he had a good sense of bed room fashion. The sixth door led to Voldemort's very impressive library. He had books on every subject from charms to defense to dark arts made easy to knitting (why he had a knitting section, Harry did not know…maybe Voldemort made evil tea cozies and sent them to the Ministry of Magic). At the back of the library, a bookcase was lit with spotlights; Harry figured those books had to be super special. Glancing at the titles, he started giggling. Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century, The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts; were just a few of the titles. All of the books in the bookcase were about Voldemort, any mention good or bad, he was such a narcissist.

Figuring he had a week to explore the library, Harry left to continue looking around the mansion. It was in the next room that Harry knew he hit the jackpot. Using the wand, Harry quickly tapped the lights on and gazed at Voldemort's office…the place where Voldemort made all of his plans and kept all his meticulous records. On the cluttered desk was the book Voldemort used for his vacation, a normal diary (filled with his lunatic thoughts and feelings for his snake…who according to the book was another horcrux), and hand drawn attack formations for several future attacks on Diagon Ally, Hogsmade, and several other magical communities all over the UK and Europe.

Harry quickly made carful notes of the plans on Voldemort's specialized letterhead stationary (the fact that he actually had specialized stationary

_Lord Voldemort_

_All Supreme Dark Lord_

with a stylized dark mark in glittery green ink just below the heading. Deciding a note to Dumbledore would be a good thing with the dark lord letter head, he scrawled out the note.

_Dear Dumbledore,_

_Being the most awesome Boy Who Lived (just kidding, you know I hate that name), I broke into Voldemort's mansion. I found the following attack plans, thought you might want to show the order. _

_Sincerely,_

_Harry Potter_

Harry placed his note over the notes on the future attacks, sealed them in an envelope, and stuck the letter into the pocket of the robes he was wearing; he would have to look for an owl later.

Just to the right of the desk stood a filing cabinet, locked magically against anyone who was not the Dark Lord, luckily for Harry he was wearing his very own Voldemort suit. Opening the top drawer Harry found, in alphabetical order, files on every Death Eater ever in Voldemort's service. Harry pulled the first file and started to read what the first page said.

Name: **Avery**

**Joined: August 13, 1975**

**Status: Currently Alive**

**Specializes in torture and rape, minor charms, lesser dark arts, and has a talent for painting**

**Comments: I don't really like him, but I don't much care for a lot of my followers. **

Some files seemed to be thicker than others as they also had notes on funding given to the cause, raids they went on, and their performance in the group.

The second drawer had files of Voldie's special notes, spells he created, and personal affairs. The file that caught Harry's eyes was labeled Horcrux. Inside the file was a list of each horcrux, where it could be found, the defensive spells around each horcrux, and the counter spells to get at them.

That was when Harry got an idea. An awful, horrible idea, for Voldemort at least. He had one week in Voldemort's body. One week to take down the entire organization. One week to come up with an idea to take out Voldemort before he got back. With his plans formed, Harry went back to bed (robe on) as Voldie's body was still tired from doing the ritual all night.

**I have the entire story planned out and the next two chapters written. I will be posting the next chapter in a day or so. There will be nine chapters, including the prologue and epilogue. Thank you all for reading my story, and please let me know if you liked it. Any critiques of this story are welcome as well. ^.^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Characters.**

**Chapter 2/9**

**This story came to me in the usual way…overindulgence of caffeine and sugar (is there any other way?) ^.^**

**The Dark Lord's Much Needed Vacation**

July 5th

~*~*~*~*~Day One~*~*~*~*~

Harry threw his arm up, tossing the owl into the air. The owl, like the four others he had already sent off, had a very important letter all saying the same thing.

_Recipient, _

_Voldemort has a three-prong attack planned in four days; each attack will have a third of his army each._

_The first attack will be on July 9 at 3:45 pm. Each of the thirty Death Eaters will be port-keying in to the Shrieking Shack with one way port-keys. I would suggest ministry and order forces to be waiting with antiaparation and antiport-key wards, ready to capture the Death Eaters sent there. _

_The second attack will be July 9 at 3:46 pm. There will be forty five Death Eaters port-keying to Knockturn Ally with one way port-keys. I suggest the same measures as the above paragraph, as well as clearing the allies of bystanders. _

_The third prong of the attack will be July 9 at 3:47 pm. There will be thirty five Death Eaters port-keying into Azkaban to release what Death Eaters have been captured in the previous months. I can fiddle with the port-keys to place them right in cells. I would suggest heavy Dementor activity in the area of the cells. _

_As this is the entirety of Voldemort's army, capturing or killing the Death Eaters will decimate his cause. _

_Sincerely,_

_Tired of the War_

Of course, Voldemort had no such plan; he was on vacation and had put off any attacks to when he got back. Harry on the other hand came up with the plans to send off the Death Eaters to be captured in two days, this morning when he woke up. He figured giving the Aurors and Dumbledore's order time to plan the capture of the Death Eaters during their fake attack would be the best way to get rid of them. Harry decided to keep the letter he wrote last night with him for the time being…if he could end the war this week, there would be no use for the future attack plans of Voldemort.

Seeing that the owl was no longer in sight Harry made his way out of the tower. Depending on how one looked at it, Harry either had really bad luck or really good luck.

"My Lord," a pathetic, simpering voice spoke out as soon as Harry stepped off the stairs, "I realize it is not my place, but…um…well…"

Upon spotting Wormtail, Harry started to growl, watching the pathetic man paling as he tried to finish he sentence. A few seconds later, Harry remembered whose body he occupied at the moment and decided to have some fun, letting his inner Slytherin out to play.

"What is it Wormtail? Spit it out." Harry demanded.

"Meeting…" Wormtail sputtered out, "today…now… Malfoy's…"

"Of course it is. Come wretch, we have a meeting to attend." Harry then swirled his robe Snape like, a move he had practiced in Voldie's room earlier this morning before he wrote his notes. He then stalked off, without looking back at his new minion, and made his way to the apparation room. The only reason he knew where it was, was due to the fact that the room had a sign on the door labeling it as such…not very intelligent if Voldemort's mansion was ever invaded, but it made it easy for Harry.

It was at this time that Harry was appreciative of his mental link to Voldemort, which had become stronger in the last few years, as he learned the most interesting things through it. With the knowledge he gained through the link, Harry knew not only how to apparate, but how to get to Malfoy's mansion and where the meeting there would take place.

Upon arriving it took all of Harry's willpower not to gawk at the opulent room he found himself in, which for a room with only one purpose, that of apparating in and out, it spoke either of the overwhelming amounts of money, the need to show off, or both. The walls were lined with a black marble shot with silver and flecks of gold, a marble Harry had never seen before. While the floor was done with a silvery white marble shot with black, offsetting the walls. The apparating platform in the center of the room, as well as the door, was made of a rich ebony wood. The accents; torch holders, door hinges, and door knob were done in silver.

Leaving the apparation room, Harry saw that the rest of the house was done in much the same way…way over the top in expensive materials, which looked nice, but seemed to shout 'Look at me, I'm rich!'. It took several minutes to reach the meeting hall, as it was one floor away and in a different wing of the mansion. The doors of the meeting hall were closed, but Harry could hear the minions form inside. Knowing that Voldie thought opening doors was beneath him, he waved to Wormtail to open the doors.

The crash of the doors caused the hall to quite, taking that as his signal, Harry strode into the room to take his place in the room, a gaudy silver throne done with twisting snakes and a dark green cushion…not that Voldemort was human enough to need a cushion, but every throne needed a cushion, right? Turning dramatically, so that once again, his robes flared out behind him, Harry sat himself upon the distasteful throne.

The 'wush' of moving robes rung out across the hall as the Death Eaters all fell to their knees as Harry looked out upon their numbers. Knowing how these meetings normally go, Harry knew he would not need the unforgivable as he was in a 'good' mood due to his impending plans.

"Rise. I have learned through my link to the Potter brat that those incompetent members of Dumbledore's order are becoming lax in their attitude to our future attacks, as we have not carried out anything major in the last few weeks. I plan to rectify that now. In four days, July 9th, we will carry out a three prong attack against Hogsmade, Diagon Ally, and Azkaban." He paused for a bit to allow the minions to come to terms with his plan. "Wormtail, I want you to lead the attack on Hogsmade." Harry handed the sniveling man a sheet of paper and a bag of small red stones. "On the paper is a list of Death Eaters going with you. The red stones are port keys to the Shrieking Shack; they leave at 3:45 pm. Gather your group and leave my sight now."

He pulled out another bag and list as Wormtail gathered his group and led them out of the room. "Leading the attack in Diagon Ally will be Lucious," as the man came forth he tossed a bag of small blue stones acting as port keys and the list. "This attack will take place at 3:46 pm, and your port keys will take you to Knockturn Ally." With a small nod of his head, Harry told Malfoy to lead his group from the room to plan their part of the attack.

Harry held in his cringe at the adoring look on his last leader's face as she gazed back at him. "Bella, you shall take your group, via these yellow stone port keys, to Azkaban at 3:47 pm." He handed the sycophant the port key bag and her list of minions to lead. "While the others are causing general mayhem and destruction, your cause is the most important. You will be freeing those within the prison who will join our cause as well as destroying the prison. Now go and plan."

With Bella's group gone, there was one Death Eater left in the hall. Allowing his very small sadistic side a bit of free time he just watched the man. Harry had to admit, that the man presented himself well, as he knew the man must be very worried inside at being left behind, but he kept worry off his face. When the smallest of sweat beads started forming upon the man's hairline, Harry stood.

"Snape, follow me." Once again, Harry did his robe twirl…he was really starting to like the way his robes twirled, very intimidating and fun to do. Walking quickly, he led them to Voldie's office in the Malfoy's mansion, the office he used to 'discuss' personal items with his minions.

"What I am about to tell you, Snape cannot go any further than this office. A vow if you please." Harry knew that Severus Snape was firmly in Dumbledore's camp, and a spy against Voldemort.

Looking perturbed, Snape gave Harry is vow, "I swear upon my magic that I will not tell of our meeting/s in any way to anyone not in this room." The soft glow of white, told the two that the vow was accepted.

"I am sending you on a special mission to be completed before tomorrow at noon. Bring me the sword that Potter killed my basilisk with. Failure is not an option. Now go!"

With his plans set in motion, Harry decided to head back to Voldie's mansion to finish exploring and to research a bit more.

**Thank you all for reading my story, I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know if you did or if you noticed anything off. Thanks again. ^.^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Characters.**

**Chapter 3/9**

**This story came to me in the usual way…overindulgence of caffeine and sugar (is there any other way?) ^.^**

**The Dark Lord's Much Needed Vacation**

July 6th

~*~*~*~*~Day Two~*~*~*~*~

The blaring of his alarm awoke Harry like it did every morning during the summer. Shuffling out of bed, a fisted hand rubbing the gunk out of his eyes, Harry made his way erratically to the bathroom. It went to show how out of it Harry was that he did not notice how many things he rammed into as he made his unfamiliar, yet somehow familiar way towards his morning destination.

Stumbling across the threshold he quickly relieved himself before moving to the sink to wash his hands. When he looked up it took all of his will not to squeal like a little girl, even then a straggled shriek made its way past his lips. He spent a few seconds of horrified shock upon seeing Voldemort in the mirror looking back at him before the events of the previous two nights rushed back.

In a bit of whimsy Harry started making faces at himself in the mirror. He stopped when he realized two very different things. The first thought being that Voldemort's snake like face looked even scarier when his eyes bulged and his lips took a twisted smirk appearance. The second thought was a little more shocking and perplexing. If he was inside Voldemort's body, where was his body? The ritual dear old Voldie used was supposed to extract his nasty little soul bits from the horcurx, leaving the object containing the soul behind to be refilled after the week was over. And, as his body was, at one point a container for Voldie's soul , before his soul effectively 'ate' the soul bit, his soul went along with the ritual meaning his body had to have been left behind somewhere without Harry in it.

With that in mind, Harry had to check to see if his body was ok before he could move on with his plans of researching the rest of Voldie's horcruxs. Moving at a pace not becoming an all mighty Dark Lord and positively shock Voldie's minions, Harry quickly pulled a robe on, as that was all Voldemort had in his closet…something about being anti muggle and all that.

Apparating to a deserted alley a few blocks away from Number 4 Private Drive, Harry quickly cast a notice-me-not charm, and then made his way to his Aunt's house. Thankfully, in this instance only, Voldie used his blood in his resurrection ritual. Which allowed Voldie to overcome the protection Harry's mother gave to him, allowing Harry, in Voldie's body to cross the blood wards to check if his body was inside the house.

Circling to the back yard, Harry noticed the living room window was open and that he could hear the conversation taking place inside between his Aunt and Uncle.

"…FREAK." There was Uncle Vernon's booming voice. If he wasn't quieter the neighborhood would hear him. "Using his Freakishness to keep the door locked! Won't do his chores!"

"Vernon, a bit quieter." His Aunt, using what Harry assumed to be soothing tones, if one could call her hushed, whiny tone soothing. "The window is open and we don't want the neighbors to hear." At this Aunt Petunia got up and peered through the window looking straight through Harry, before she closed the window to prevent the rest of their conversation from being overheard by the gossipy neighbors. His Aunt must have been channeling his earlier thought.

It answered one question though; his room seems to be sealed from outside interference. And, as the door was locked, it also meant that Harry had no real need to use the spare key his Aunt hid within the fake rock on the back porch for Dudley on the off chance that neither parent was home and he forgot his key (once again). Not wanting to apparate into a seemingly magic locked room, Harry made his way to the area underneath his second story window. Harry cursed the fact that he didn't think to bring a broomstick as it made peering into his window very hard. A slightly overpowered hovering charm on his shoes worked almost as well though.

Looking into the un-curtained windows, he could see his body resting within on the bed; his body wasn't moving, causing Harry to hyperventilate. Harry tried any and all spells he could think of to open or break the window, nothing worked. Just before he could give up hope, mostly due to the fact that he was low on oxygen and about to pass out rather than lack of further options, it happened. Somehow, Harry's magic residing in his body reached out to his soul residing in Voldemort's body and physically pulled Harry/ Voldemort into the room, 'phasing' though the solid window and wall.

Harry knew Voldemort would be mortified if his Death Eaters saw him with tears running down his cheeks, but Harry could not help and did not care, he was that relieved to be in his room with his body. Moving slowly to his bed, he licked his finger then held it underneath his, uh, Harry body's, nose. Feeling the slightest puff of warm air blow across his finger filled him with joy…at the end of the week when he got booted out of Voldie's body, he still had a body to return to.

He wanted to make sure that nothing untoward was happening to his body while he was out of it, so Harry cast a diagnostic charm he had seen Madam Pomfrey cast on him a million and two times, but had never tried before. Harry knew he got it right when the spelled parchment appeared.

_Patent: Harry James Potter_

_Date: July 6 1995_

_Age: 15_

_Current Injuries or Maladies:_

_Patient is in a soulless, magical coma. Reasons unknown. The patient fell into a coma July 5 1995 at 3:00 A.M. Condition: Besides a slight fluctuation in patient's magic on July 6 1995 at 9:36 A.M., there has been no change in condition and remains stable in suspended magic. _

_Past Injuries and Maladies (Chronological order):_

_5-25-1981: Patient sustained laceration to the palm. Reason: While learning to walk, patient tripped. Condition: healed._

_10-31-1981: Patient sustained laceration to the forehead. Reason: Curse, _Avada Kadavra. Condition: Curse Scar, healed.

11-5-1981: Patient sustained …

Harry stopped reading the past injuries once he got to his 'Dursley Days', no need to have an actual account of all his past injuries…though it did make him wonder. If all of his past injuries were reported like this, along with the reasons, why had Madam Pomfrey never said anything to anyone about his home life, surely no one else had a roll of parchment inches thick if they were not abused. But that was really of no concern at the moment. According to the parchment, Harry's body was being held in a suspended animation of sorts with his magic keeping him safe from outside sources. The fluctuation of magic happened when Harry was phased through the window/wall.

Relieved that his body was safe, Harry left the same way he came in after checking the time. He still had some research to look up before Snape arrived at Noon with Gryffindor's sword. Just before he apparated out, he caught sight of a horrified Order Member staring at him. Feeling a bit vindictive, thanks to the unreported abuse; Harry gave him a brief nod and a smirk, then apparated back to Voldermort's mansion.

Arriving back at the mansion, Harry quickly made his way to Voldie's office so jot down some notes for Snape when he appeared. One of the many lists he had found when exploring Voldemort's files described each horcrux, its position, its defenses, and the countermeasures need to retrieve them. On reviewing the list, Harry knew he had to meet with one more person after Snape, a meeting he was not looking forward to.

With nothing else to do after the notes were made, Harry decided to pursue Voldemort's library for interesting reading material while he awaited Snape. It was during this time, Harry realized just how twisted Voldemort really was. The vast collection of dark materials had nothing to do with his revelations. Instead it was the small collection of dirty magazines depicting any and all sex acts with virtually anything, which Harry found in a secret compartment behind the book, _1001 Ways to Play With People's Minds_, that clued Harry in.

Thankfully, Wormtail arrived and managed to break Harry's horrified, shocked gaze away from the dirty magazine.

Clearing his throat with a disgusting hacky sound, Wormtail spoke. "Mah..maMaster, Severus Snape has arrived for your meeting. Where ww..would you like me to him to go."

Still, shocky, Harry gave himself a brief shake before replying. "Have him come to my office in five minutes Wormtail. You are dismissed until after the meeting."

By the time Snape walked into the office Harry had a hold of himself."Severus, do you have my sword?"

"Yes, my Lord." Snape proceeded to pull the sword from within his robes; Harry did not want to know how the man concealed a three and a half foot sword. Harry took the sword with a nod of thanks.

"Lord, I have news from the Order." Harry motioned for Snape to continue. "You were seen outside of the Potter Brat's home this morning. Does this have anything to do with the sword?"

At this point Harry knew Snape to be suspicious, as no Death Eater would ever question Voldemort…or any sane Death Eater, and as loath as he was to admit it, Severus Snape was sane.

"I would like to remind you of your oath from yesterday, any meetings in this office pertaining to the original meeting cannot be spoken with anyone outside of this office, is that understood. I would just hate to see you lose your magic." Seeing Snape's acknowledgement, harry continued. "In a way, the trip to Potter's house has some connection, but it is quite distant. As of yesterday morning at 3 a.m., Voldemort went on vacation."

Harry stopped there to giggle at the puzzlement on Snape's face, as to his knowledge Voldemort had never spoken of himself in first person. Nor had the most fearsome Dark lord ever giggled…much like the faces he pulled this morning in the bathroom, it was quite scary.

He continued as he did have other plans for the day if he were to keep on schedule, "The ritual Voldemort used sent his soul to an island paradise to be waited on hand and foot by minions. His body was to be taken care of via his closest soul bit, unlucky for him; the spell registered me as the closest, even though I am not a horcrux. Lucky for me though, I am now in position to take the slime ball down once and for all! Any questions Snape?"

Severus Snape was a smart man, putting together all the clues he responded. "Potter?"

"10 points to Slytherin Professor Snape. I am Harry. The reason I am telling you now, is that I have your vow that you won't go telling anyone about anything you learn in our meetings. If Dumbledore was to find out, he would no doubt try and stop me."

"Why," Snape started, "would you organize attacks with the Death Eaters? And, why would you need this sword?"

Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Harry decided to answer both questions. "I see Dumbledore has not told the order of the letter I sent yet. Yesterday morning I dent off letters to Dumbledore, Amelia Bones, and others in the ministry supporting the light information about each attack, and what measures to enact to capture all of the Death Eaters. All of the port keys I made are one way and will disable the death eaters when they arrive."

"As for the sword, it is the easiest way I have determined to destroy Voldemort's horcruxs. This brings me to the point of the rest of this meeting. As I am, I cannot get into Hogwarts without setting off alarms; the same with Headquarters. These." Harry hands Snape the first two notes, "have all the details needed to obtain Voldie's horcrux in the Room of Requirement and his Grandfather's. Please follow the directions exactly; else you set off the fiend fire or other defenses. The third horcurx should be much easier." Here, Harry handed Snape the drawing of the horcrux he needed to find. "I saw Kreacher hording it at Headquarters, just get it. Bring them back here tomorrow at noon as my time in this body is limited."

Since time was limited, Snape just nodded his acceptance and left the office to complete his missions. As he stepped from the office, Wormtail slipped in. Harry snatched his left arm and placed his wand to the Dark Mark calling forth the minion he wanted to see next. After the call was sent out, Harry dismissed Wormtail once again.

Within four minutes, a knock was heard at his door. Using his most evil voice Harry called for the person to enter.

Bellatrix, complete with long, stringy hair and adoring eyes, scuttled into the office at Harry's call. "My Master called me?" She asked in an affectionate voice.

"Yes Bella, I did." Harry had way too much fun plotting her demise, "I need you to retrieve the cup I gave you so long ago."

Eyes widening in pleasure at the idea of helping her master, Bella grinned a manic grin, before asking, "When do you want it?"

"Tomorrow at 10:30 a.m., afterwards you may go back to planning your attack. You are dismissed."

"Yes my Lord."

When Bella was gone, Harry ran to his bathroom to scrub himself. Something about the way Bella looked at him before she left and the loving way she issued her agreement caused Harry to feel quite dirty. He spent the rest of the time before dinner soaking in the tub using various soaps every three minutes. Harry figured this very reason was why Voldemort had so many bars of soap in his bathroom…anyone spending time in Bella's presence would need to wash afterwards (those magazines must not cover Bellatrix Lestrange) .

**Once again, I would like to thank you all for reading my story. Please let me know what you think about it. ^.^**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Characters.**

**Chapter 4/9**

**This story came to me in the usual way…overindulgence of caffeine and sugar (is there any other way?) ^.^**

**A bit of a warning...there is a part towards the end which may be a bit much for younger audiences (not very graphic, but it does allude to it).  
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**The Dark Lord's Much Needed Vacation**

July 7th

~*~*~*~*~Day Three~*~*~*~*~

Harry's psyche was saved this morning for he was fully conscious of just where he was and who's body he was in once he awoke. Well, as safe as it could be from looking out of Voldemort's eyes and manipulating his body for his morning events. Showering in Voldemort's body made Harry cringe, but he had to do it. Harry and all of Voldie's death Eaters knew Voldemort was very fastidious about his looks, almost on par with Draco Malfoy; everything had to be in place. Harry didn't really get why though, as not even a mother could love or enjoy Voldie's grotesque and obscene snake-like face.

Closing his eyes, Harry quickly scrubbed and lathered the older body he now inhabited. When he was done he grabbed the very plush, emerald green towel hanging outside the shower stall.

Voldemort keeping in line with his Slytherin heritage had decked his private bathroom to the max with Slytherin colors. All of the bath sized towels were emerald green in color, layered underneath silver towels, which were placed under back washcloths; all of which were plush to the extreme. The bathroom had the shower stall large enough for five or six people to shower at one time and a sunken tub very reminiscent of the prefects tub Harry used back in forth year. It looked as if the Malfoy's and Voldie had the same interior decorator; the marble used for the floor and the huge sunken tub was the black marble shot with silver and flecks of gold. The sink and counters were set with the silvery white marble shot with black. While the accents such as lighting fixtures and towel holders were down in silver. The backsplash of the tiles looked to be carved squares of emerald, silver, and onyx jewels.

When most of the water was toweled off, Harry tied the towel around his waist and walked toward the wardrobe to choose a robe Voldemort could be seen in for his various meetings he had planned today. He picked a black robe (all of Voldemort's robes looked to be black, except for one violent purple robe in the very back that Harry really did NOT want to think about) made of a soft leather like material he had never seen before, but assumed was very expensive. Donning the robe, Harry was glad he did not have to mess with styling hair, as Voldie didn't have any. With matching black leather boots, Harry was dressed, with thirty minutes to spar before Bellatrix arrived.

Passing the Library on his way to the meeting room/ office to wait Bella he heard a sound he never thought to hear in Voldie's mansion; perverted giggling. Knowing he and Wormtail were the only ones living at the mansion, Harry peered in; this moment would soon go into the pile of memories to obliviated later in his life. Wormtail was sitting in the chair nearest the section holding what Harry thought was Voldie's dirty magazine collection.

Harry did not know how long he stared at the horror of Wormtail looking through one of the magazines and giggling. He must have made a noise loud enough for the rat to hear through his own noises because Wormtail jumped out of the chair with a look of horror on his face; the magazine fell to the ground.

"uu..m..eek..My lalaaLord," the fumbling man dropped to his knees before scuttling forward to kiss the hems of Harry's robe, "I am sorry. Uhh…I did not mmmmean to look at your mamamagazine."

Feeling completely vindicated after seeing what he saw and knowing Voldemort would seriously harm any minion going through his things, Harry sent the man a severe stinging hex (he still couldn't bring himself to use the crutacious curse).

"Out of my sight Wormtail. If I see you before the end of the day you can expect worse."

He waited a few minutes before venturing back out of the library and continuing on his way, hopefully the rest of the day would be less disturbing. Harry made it to the office with only a few minutes to spare; he must have been in shock staring at Wormtail for twenty minutes or so.

"Come in Bellatrix," Harry called out when a knock rang out across the room form the closed door.

Bella, in a display worthy of a demented ballerina came twirling into the room, a golden goblet engraved with a badger family seal, held above and in front of her. She came to a stop in a kneel presenting her prize while her robes descended gracefully around her.

"Master, I have brought you the goblet you asked for."

As Harry took the cup from her, Bella turned her adoring, crazy eyes upwards just to gaze at his face. A bit disturbed, Harry took his seat once again. "Thank you Bella…."

If he had been a bit quicker in his dismissal or if Bella were a bit less…well, her, what happened next would never have happened.

Bella, upon seeing her master sit before her like he did when he was pleased with her and in the mood, jumped to her feet before throwing herself into his lap, latching her lips to his in a parody of a kiss. Once again, Harry found himself frozen in shock. Unfortunately for him, Bella did not care that he was not responding…sometimes her master just wanted her to play with him for awhile before he joined in. It was Bella's cold hands slipping within his robes and touching his skin that snapped Harry out of his frozen state. He quickly grabbed her hands to stop her.

"As much as I would love to continue this," a statement it took all of Harry's control not to gag out, "I do have pressing business to attend to this day. Perhaps," he paused, feeling his face turn a big green, "we can continue this in a celebration after the raids later on this week."

Bella stepped back, her face still flushed from touching her master, "Of course my Lord. I live to serve and please." She once again twirled out of the room when Harry dismissed her.

When she was gone Harry tore off to the Slytherin colored bathroom to brush his teeth several times and to submerge himself in the deep tub filled to the brim with the most astringent soap and coarsest scrub brush he could find. He was hoping he would not have to have this entire day obliviated from his mind by the time it was done…so far it was just the whole morning that would need to go. A full hour of scrubbing and Voldemort's pallid flesh finally had some color…of course Harry had scrubbed so hard he was bleeding in some places, but it was still color. Stepping from the tub, Harry incendio'ed the robe he had been wearing, before grabbing another robe, black again, but this time made of a soft cotton type cloth.

He had just enough time to destroy the cup before Snape arrived with the other horcruxs. Harry took out his feelings concerning the morning out on the cup, whacking it violently for several minutes after the high pitch scream of the soul bit's death cried out. Turns out mindless violence is quite therapeutic …maybe that was why stress leads to such violent outburst in the Wizard and Muggle world. Harry would stick to taking out his anger and frustration on inanimate objects though (even if technically the soul was alive…in a way).

Severus Snape walked in to see Harry in his golfing spree, teeing up behind the cup and whacking it towards the wall with the sword. The sight caused him to pause for a bit, even though he knew it was Harry inside, such a scene as the 'Dark Lord' covered in dried blood, gagging and icking, and hitting a cup with a sword would cause any one to pause.

"Get a hold of yourself Potter." Snape snapped out…perhaps the worst thing he could do with Harry beating a cup all over the room. Snape woke up to an "Enervate" and Voldermort's concerned looking face.

"Are you ok Snape?" Harry asked concerned.

Head to hand; Snape could feel the resulting bump. He refrained from speaking…or indulging in his need to strangle Potter. Instead, he pulled out a bag and handed it to Harry. Snape would forevermore have nightmares of the Dark Lord's face going from concerned to gleeful as he took a bag of horcruxes.

Harry immediately pulled out Ravenclaw's diadem and started his "Whack-A-Horcrux" game once again. Points were scored on how many hits it took to get the soul bit to scream…kind of like a piñata. He explained the point system to Snape as he finished.

"Here," Harry handed Snape the locket, "after all the crap you had to put up with from Voldie, I think you deserve a try. I got the diadem in two hits; if you beat me you can have the ring as well."

Snape got it in one. The ring he took his time…turns out whacking things with a sword was really fun…though he would never admit it to Potter.

"Potter, is this the last of Voldemort's horcruxs ?"

Harry grabbed the list he had resting in the desk and started ticking them off. "I got the cup from Bella," he really needs to be obliviated later, "the diadem, the locket, and the ring from you. Voldie never knew about the bit in me that I ate. Main Voldie is on the beach sipping Mai Tais till the seventh. The last one was in Voldie's snake…which I took care of last night. She woke me up in the middle of a good dream; I did get a nifty snake skin belt though. Here," Harry tossed Snape a bag full of vials and pouches. "I collected the venom and organs and stuff for you…a 'let's be friends' gesture. After that we're done until Voldemort comes back…I am researching ways to finish him off tonight."

Snape nodded along with Harry's assessment, shaking his head in grudging amusement at his new belt, and thrilled with his gift. Then he recalled Harry's statement about Voldemort's current doings. "Potter, did you just say Voldemort was sipping Mai Tais? How do you know?"

"Well, you know that Voldie and I share a connection right." Harry paused, waiting for Snape's acknowledgement. When Snape nodded, he continued, "Every night when I sleep, I get to watch Voldie's previous day. Would you like to see his day?"

"How, Potter?"

Harry grinned; causing Snape to once again cringe…Voldemort's visage should never grin like that…and twirled, once again channeling Snape's secret special robe twirling move, moving towards the desk. In the bottom drawer there was a secret catch that Harry discovered on his first round of exploring. When he opened the catch, he reviled a button, a red button, which begged to be pushed. Upon pushing the button, a hidden panel in the wall opened up reveling several shelves holding a pensive and multiple vials filled with silvery memories.

"I present you with Voldie's Closet of Memories." Grabbing the pensive he put it on the desk, before putting his wand to his temple and extracting several silvery threads of memory, then placing them into the basin.

Harry gestured to the pensive, "After you Professor." He followed Snape into the memories, wanting to watch his professor's face on seeing them.

Voldemort had just given up hope that his ritual would work, he might just have to give into Bellatrix's numerous advances, when he disappeared from his bed and landed on a moonlit beach. He stood, brushing wet sand off his firm buttocks. Wait, firm. He looked down his body and took in his wonderful teenage body; taught abdominal muscles, strong leg muscles, virulent …

"Hello Tom."

"Welcome Tom."

"Greetings Tom."

Voldemort, once known as Tom Riddle when he was a teenager, looked up from admiring his wonderful young body to see three, very beautiful women walking towards him. Each was a skimpy bikini in solid colors. Tom watched as the three women sauntered towards him; when they reached him two took an arm each while the third draped herself across his front.

The one wearing green, hanging on his right arm spoke first. "My name in Ivy, I specialize in all forms of massage." When Ivy finished speaking she started kissing Tom's neck.

The woman on his left arm was wearing a dark pink suit. "I am called Rose, and I specialize in all styles of cooking and mixed drinks." Like the first, as soon as she was done, Rose moved closer to Tom, and started nibbling on his ear lobe.

"And I am Violet." The last woman, wearing a purple suit spoke, "I specialize in all things…sexual." Violet made her way down Tom's body when she finished speaking.

The memory skipped ahead. Harry barely kept himself from giggling at Snape's face as several different emotions flashed across; everything from horror to what looked to be arousal (an emotion Harry never wanted to see on Snape's face again).

Violet walked towards Tom. This time she was wearing purple thigh high boots and a skimpy, purple leather outfit. Upon reaching the Dark Lord, she pushed him onto the bed that suddenly appeared on the beach before she pulled out several purple scarves. She gently tied his wrists, and then his ankles to the bed posts with the scarves. Once Tom was secured, Violet started. She…

Unlike Snape, Harry recognized the scene out of Voldemort's secret stash of kinky magazines. He was thinking about further scaring Snape by showing him the magazines when the next memory started.

Tom was laying out on a towel in sun, gazing out towards the clear blue waters of the Caribbean Ocean. Ivy was perched over Tom, her thighs wrapped tight around his hips as she massaged oil into his back. A pair of pink heels appeared in his vision.

"I have your Mai Tai Tom."

Harry decided that he had messed with Snape enough for one day so he pulled them out of the pensive.

Snape looked to be in shock after viewing the memories, who would have thought the Dark Lord, for all of his dark, dehumanizing rituals, was just like any other male…if a bit kinkier.

"I have two days worth of memories, all along the same lines. By the end of the week I will have more, you can borrow them whenever you want."

The depth of Snape's shock must have been very deep as he did not respond to Harry's offer. He watched as Snape left the room thinking of how he could profit off the visions he was forced to watch every night of Voldie's vacation.

**Wow…with three chapters I already have over 1000 hits. ^.^ Thank you all for reading my story. For those of you who have reviewed, marked my story as favorite or put it on alert…thank you so very much…it is for you I have been inspired to put these chapters up so fast. As always I love to hear what you all think about my story…be it good or bad. The next chapter might not be up until next weekend, and I apologize for that…I have a physical chemistry test this next week and will be putting in time to study for it. Thanks again. ^.^**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Characters.**

**Chapter 5/9**

**This story came to me in the usual way…overindulgence of caffeine and sugar (is there any other way?) ^.^**

**The Dark Lord's Much Needed Vacation**

July 8th

~*~*~*~*~Day Four~*~*~*~*~

Harry Potter was ecstatic! Today was the day he would physically put into motion the beginning of the end for Lord Voldemort, also known as the Dark Lord, You-Know-Who, or Tom Marvlo Riddle. Last night, a few hours after Snape left, Harry found a book describing something he never even thought would work, much less real.

The book was entitled, Everyday Hoodoo. It was the sixth chapter that intrigued Harry the most.

_Chapter 6_

_Of the various types of magic in the world, one of least used in the European and American magic worlds is sympathetic magic. The best known example of sympathetic magic used in Hoodoo, is commonly attributed to a religion, is the Voodoo Doll. _

_The Voodoo doll utilizes correspondence magic in the form of a doll given the form of the intended subject. The doll is further personalized via attached physical bits of the person: nail clippings, hair, blood, or other fluids. Lastly, giving the doll the true name of the subject invokes the magic. _

_The doll can be used for benign or malignant purposes…_

A Voodoo Doll, the perfect way to put a stop to Voldie. According to the book all Harry needed for the magic was the form, in the shape of the doll, the physical essence, in the shape of some physical bit off his body, and Volide's true name, Tom Marvolo Riddle.

"Wormtail!" Harry called out as he stalked from his room.

The balding, fat, rat of a man came scampering out of the room assigned to him by the Dark Lord when he first moved into the mansion. "Yes, mmy Lord?"

"I have a few objects I must obtain for a ritual to take place later on this week. While I am gone, I want you to clean my bathroom, without magic."

"With…without mmagic my Lord?" The pathetic man whimpered out.

Inside, Harry had on a maniacal grin, on his face he put on a glare. "You dare question me, worm. The ritual is very sensitive and any magic will upset it. For questioning me, you shall clean the room first with your tongue, and I shall know if you do not. Then you will re-clean it using this purifying potion." He handed the traitor a large, closed jar of shimmery silver liquid. If one were to look in a certain hidden panel in a certain office, they would have found many empty vials that once held the liquid (Harry made copies as to have evidence of Voldie's memories if they were ever needed, but the original…well).

He left the crying man in the entry hall as he left the mansion. Harry had the best idea of where to obtain the required materials for the spell; Asda, the muggle super chain owned by the American giant, Wal Mart. Poetic justice in Harry's mind, bringing the muggle hating Dark Lord down using muggle items in a magic spell.

Apparating first to the Leaky Cauldron, after casting a very strong glamour charm to cover his Voldie features, of course, Harry stalked through the pub and made his way into Diagon Alley. He quickly made his way to the wizarding bank, Gringotts so he could exchange his pocket full of wizarding money into that of the muggles.

The goblins running the back could tell the man in front of them was wearing glamour charm, but their greed and disinterest in wizards in general caused them not to care over much. A good thing for Harry, for if they made a fuss and someone took it upon themselves to find out who was walking in public it would have caused mass mayhem and panic. He thanked the goblins and then apparated to a deserted alley behind an Asda he knew very well, as he was the one forced to purchase groceries for the Dursley family.

Harry quickly walked to the front of the store, grabbed a basket, and started shopping. From the art department within the store Harry grabbed a package of pale, sick looking white molding clay, a yard of black velvet, silver colored thread, and green embroidery floss. Walking to the electronic department he picked up a cheap disposable camera.

Almost finished gathering his supplies he pushed his buggy behind a very familiar woman in the checkout line. The woman was tall, thin, and horse like; when she spoke to the teller, Harry knew her to be his dear Aunt Petunia. Holding in an evil laugh, Harry brought out his wand, keeping it hidden within his jacket glamoured robe, and cursed the mountain of chocolate Petunia had be buying for her precious Dudley and the frozen vegetable (a favorite of both his aunt and uncle) with a hex that caused the consumer to fart, every ten minutes, a noxious smelling cloud of gas.

Back in the alley after paying for his purchases, he shrunk his art supplies and put them into his pocket. Harry then tore into the box holding his new camera. He dropped his glamour and started posing for the camera he charmed to take his picture itself. Twenty five poses and pictures later, Harry reapplied his glamour and then took the full camera back into the store to have them develop the pictures.

"Hello, my name is Claire. How can I help you?" The perky teller behind the film counter asked.

"Hello. I need my film developed, please."

"What size?"

Harry took a second to think. When another devious plan came to mind, Harry gave Claire a winning smile. "I need a set done in wallet size and another done in poster size."

Claire smiled, flirtatiously back at Harry. "I can do that. It will take an hour though, is that ok?"

"Yes, Claire. Yes, it is. I will see you in an hour then." Harry gave her the camera and a wink before walking out of the store.

With an hour to kill, Harry decided that muggle fast food, something he had never really had before, was a good idea. The first place he came to was a burger place called McDonalds, a place his cousin Dudley praised and ate at frequently. He ordered a fish sandwich, a burger called a Big Mac, a large fry, an Oreo McFlurry, and a large Coke; Harry had not eaten breakfast so he was really hungry. The meal was full of grease, Calories, and fat; yet it was still quite satisfying.

Harry spent the rest of the time just wondering around the park near the store. When the hour was up he made his way back to Claire, practiced his flirting techniques, and then picked up his photos. He dropped the glamour as soon as he apparated back to his…Voldie's mansion.

When he made it to the office, Harry got started. Unshrinking his purchases, he lined the items in the order he would need them; the clay, the wallet sized pictures, the cloth, and the thread. Taking the clay, Harry pulled out a generous handful and started warming the clay by rolling it between his hands. When it was soft enough to start molding, he formed into a very crude, thin looking human body…very reminiscent of Voldemort's.

For the next step to building his doll, Harry needed to pick the perfect picture. Going through the photos he found it, the perfect picture that captured Voldemort's essence; in the photo Harry was smirking at the camera, red eyes ablaze and bald head bouncing back the light form the flash. Opening the drawers, Harry found the scissors and carefully cut out just Voldemort's face. With that done, he pressed the picture into the clay head of the doll.

With the doll and face done, the second 'hardest' part came up; the making of the robes for the doll. Harry was used to mending his own and the Dursley's clothing, so the making of the robes would take time, as the scale was much smaller, but it wouldn't be too hard. Skillfully cutting the cloth into shape, he decided that the silver thread would be best to sew the pieces together. With the green thread, Harry sewed on a Slytherin snake on the breast of the robe.

After dressing the Voldie Doll, he glanced at his watch and realized it was almost six o 'clock. Harry realized that he had the doll finished, but he didn't have the dolly death planned, so another trip to the library was in order. Walking out the door, Harry slammed his hand to his forehead; he had almost forgotten a very important step in the making of the Voldie Dolly. Heading back to the desk he snatched the scissors and trimmed his nails. Feeling a bit perverted, even if it was a doll, Harry turned the doll over, flipped the robe up, and then pressed the clippings into the back. With that done, now, he was off to the library.

Searching the stacks he quickly pulled any books that looked like they might hold the key to offing the doll…and Voldie, when he was kicked out the body he inhabited. Books like Poisonous Potions, Malignant Maladies, Deadly Disasters, The Art of Pranks, and others of the sort; of course the last book was more of a self interest study of his.

"House Elf." Harry called out.

A popping sound announced a house elf's arrival in the library. "How can House Elf serve you today Dark Lord?" Lord Voldemort was very unimaginative in naming his elves…House Elf was the cleanest name given.

"I would like dinner to be served here tonight; I have research to do tonight." He gestured to his pile of books.

"House Elf will bring your favorite research meal: a grilled cheese and banana sandwich with cabbage on the side."

"Wait," it took all of Harry's self control not to cringe at Voldemort's favorite meal, "I know that is what I usually have, but tonight I would like a plain grilled cheese with chips on the side."

Nodding, as all the elves belonging to the Dark Lord had been trained out of curiosity, the house elf, House Elf, popped away to get Harry his dinner.

He was chewing on the last bit of his grilled cheese when he finally stumbled across the spell that would work. The spell was not found in any of the nefarious books, instead Harry found it in the prank book he started reading as he had all ready pulled the book out.

_Chapter Two_

_The Art of Timing Pranks_

_Any true prankster knows that without timing, many outstanding pranks and jokes fall flat and fail out at the objective they were created for. This chapter is dedicated to determining the perfect time for pranks. _

…

_Some lace food products with prank concoctions, thus timing is as simple as the prankee eating the tainted food. Some pranks use objects that the prankee touches. While others spell areas that affect those who are near. The goal of the prank, as well as those intended to be pranked, determine the method. _

_For those whose pranksters not wanting to be caught in the vicinity at the time the prank goes off, a time delay is the best option. There are several spells one can choose from. This humble book of pranks suggests the use of the alica mora spell. _

_With the alica mora spell, the caster imagines the trigger time or event for the spell initial prank to go off._

…

Harry skipped around the book, but when he found the _alica mora_ spell he knew he hit pay dirt. The book went on to describe the wand movements, simple enough, wave the wand in a circle and jab through the middle. With the spell, Harry just had to imagine what ever spell he used destroying the Voldie Dolly as soon as he was sent back to his body and Voldie took over his own once again; something humane, as Harry was not a violent or dark person.

Pondering the perfect way to dispose of Voldemort, he remembered a snippet of conversation from one if his potion classes.

"_For the next few weeks," Snape said as he came stalking into the class room, slamming the door open as he did so, "we will be studying and brewing poison; afterwards you will be brewing and testing antidotes that you research to counteract the poisons we brew. Some of you," he paused to smirk at Harry, "will be testing both in class."_

_Ron turned to Harry in class and patted him on the back, they both knew Harry would be one of the 'lucky' few who get to test the potions. _

Snape kept talking, ignoring the dunderheads in his class, "the first potion we are brewing is called Mahoney's Poison. This poison causes instant paralysis and a painless death within the first three minutes, unless the specific antidote is administered within in that time." He then pointed his wand at the board, and the potion's instructions appeared. "Now get to work."

Actually brewing the potion was quite easy, even Harry brewed it correctly…for once. It seemed when brewing potions, even the Slytherins dared not to tamper other's work. Harry left the library for the potion lab…he was not sure why Voldie had a potions lab as he always had Snape brew his potions.

The potion only took thirty minutes to brew, but the needed to make sure that he had all the ingredients needed. Harry decided to do the actual brewing tomorrow while his…Voldie's….minions were 'attacking'. The only ingredient not in the labs was Hellebore, but there was some in the gardens surrounding the mansion.

Set for the most part, Harry decided to call it a night.

**Once again a HUGE Thanks to all of my readers! A special thanks to all of you who have reviewed, marked the story as a favorite, or put my story on alert. I love seeing everyone's thoughts on my story…good or bad. I don't have any more tests for awhile, so the next chapter should be up in a few days. Thanks again for reading. ^.^**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Characters.**

**Chapter 6/9**

**This story came to me in the usual way…overindulgence of caffeine and sugar (is there any other way?) ^.^**

**The Dark Lord's Much Needed Vacation**

July 9th

~*~*~*~*~Day Five~*~*~*~*~

The next morning saw Harry back in the potion lab standing over a boiling cauldron. The smell drifting from the cauldron was a mixture of sweet smelling flowers and revolting gym socks; the combination of the two was much worse than the gym sock smell. At this time the potion was a sickly yellow color, which was the right color for this step in the brewing process. Harry was in the process of stirring the potion 3 times counterclockwise, then clockwise an additional 3 times to be repeated a total of seven times.

It was when he was researching the potion, that he finally found out that there was reason to the two different stirring directions, the number of times and repetitions; he might have learned this earlier and consequently been much better in potions class, if he did not have Hermione to revise his reports and whisper advise in class. Of course the only reason she did not 'help' him with his essay on the Mahoney's Poison was due to the fact that Snape decided to assign each person a different poison to write an essay at the end of each class period; which amounted to everyone writing an essay on each poison, but on a different day. He learned that 3 and 7 were both magical numbers and when dealing with poisons like this you needed to keep things in harmony; disharmony in poisons could cause them not to work right or at all. As for the clockwise and counterclockwise stirring each had something to do with the ingredients he was using and the overall purpose…Harry could not quite remember why though.

A hissing sound arose from the cauldron on Harry's last clockwise stir, a sign to add the crushed Hellebore petals. That added, Harry had to wait thirty seconds before stirring another three times counterclockwise. A minute after stirring once again, the potion shifted from the sickly yellow color to an icy blue; the icy blue was the second to last color change before the potion was finished. Upon adding the powdered shell of the beetle bombardiers the potion turned into the finished product; a clear poison that was tasteless and odorless.

As the finished potion was pulled away from the fire and cooled in the cauldron, a stasis spell on it to keep it fresh, Harry decided that lunch would be good as it was now 1:30 pm. At two, Harry was apparating to the Malfoy mansion once again for a last minute prep talk, which when translated out of Voldemortese into English meant 'torture/ threaten session' if his minions fail. House Elf brought him another grilled cheese sandwich this time with crisps on the side for lunch.

After his lunch, Harry went back to his sleeping quarters to clean up from brewing his potion. A quick shower, with his eyes closed and minimal touching, he was finished. Maybe he could sell his memories of bathing and time spent with Bella to the aurors to use for their torture sessions…sessions which 'officially' did not exist.

From the closet, Harry pulled out another black robe, this one made of woven Alpaca wool; who knew Alpacas were magical creatures and their wool offered some spell protection. Dressed for his session, Harry gathered Wormtail while he made his way to the apparating room. Once again he was amazed at the wasted wealth of the Malfoy's mansion, if he had more than a week maybe he could have come up with fail-proof contracts for all the minions to sign that donated all their money to Voldie's victim's families if they were to be proven Death Eater's or killed while on a mission; a nice thought, there was just not enough time.

Striding into the meeting room Harry took in all of his…Voldie's…doomed minions. As soon as he walked in, a hushed silenced settled over the room as the minions all turned towards him. Grinning manically, a grin Harry had seen Voldie give when he was excited and anticipating lots of terror and death, he started his prepared speech.

"I expect today to go quite well. Those fools of the light side have fallen lax in their diligence when dealing with us; a good thing for us of course. They are not prepared for the terror we will strike today in our attacks. In a little over one and one half hours Lucius, Bellatrix, and Wormtail will be leading your groups to your designated attack area. There you will put your long hours of work into action. Afterwards, I expect you three," Harry looked at his three chosen leaders, "to report back here to me when you are finished. If you fail…" he gave a dark chuckle, "well, if you fail." Harry stopped there for a bit…he knew he wasn't too great of a speech maker, and any punishment the Death Eaters could come up with would be much worse than anything he ever could…not that it mattered any ways as none of them would be coming back.

Done with his prep talk, Harry made his way to the library lounge that Malfoy had set up for Voldemort once he started using the mansion as his base of operations; it was a nice place to 'wait'. Severus Snape followed him into the lounge.

"So Potter, what exactly are we going to be doing here while the Death Eaters are out and about?"

"I am going to be reading one of Malfoy's wonderful looking books while I drink tea." Harry then gave Snape a sweet grin…Snape might need therapy after this week too. "You will be going to each of the attack points with this special port key. It will transport you every three minutes for eighteen minutes total before bringing you back here to report on how well the minions were captured. Afterwards, we shall have a celebratory dinner back at Voldie's mansion. "

"Interesting, but for the next hour or so before the attacks?" Snape asked, referring to the original intention of his question.

Harry pondered it a bit, before he cast several locking and silencing charms, as well as alarms if one of the minions was trying to gain his attention. That done, he then pulled out a deck of ordinary cards. "How do you feel about poker?"

_Then the caster should take the white-spotted, black goat kid, which is no more than twenty two days old and place it within the ruin chalk circle. _

_Make sure the goat has been jinxed with a leg locker or a body bind; any movement, even the smallest, is enough to scuff the chalk circle. Unlike other rituals, if the circle is broken, this will cause catastrophic results, differing upon which ruin has been scuffed. _

_From upon the alter, remove the silver athame out the bowel filled with the purifying solution. _

"y"

_Position yourself so that you are facing the rising sun. Wait till_

"rry"

_The sun is fully above the horizon. As it breaks, bring the athame to the goat's throat._

"Potter!"

Harry snapped out of the very interesting Book of Rituals he had been reading while awaiting Snape.

"Sna…I mean Severus. How did the Death Eater round up go?"

Harry had to stop himself from going into shock at the response he was given; for the first time since he had known the snarly professor, Severus Snape smiled a genuine. He watched as Snape pulled a pensive from within his robes, magic must have been involved as pensives were quite large and Snape's robes were not of the same size. Snape quickly withdrew the pertinent memories and placed them with the basin, he then gestured Harry to go on. Almost glowing with the excitement he felt at the Death Eaters captured, Harry pounced into the memories with Snape right behind him.

_Harry and Severus appeared at the Shrieking Shack, the pale memory Snape standing beside them. Snape arrived at the scene thirty seconds before 3:45 pm, outside of the one way anti-portkey ward that the Department of Magical Law Enforcement (DMLE) actually set up. Harry was pleased that they listened to his letter, of course he had planned for the eventuality that they had not set up the wards; the port-keys he made had been spelled to knock out the Death Eaters in the case the wards were not up or within three minutes of the Death Eaters arriving…Harry wanted to be really sure the minions were captured. _

_At exactly 3:45 pm, thirty Death Eaters popped into existence on the Shack grounds, with Wormtail leading the group. While most of the Death Eaters pocketed their portkeys, as Harry had told them they would bring them back to the mansion, neither harry nor Snape noticed that one of the minions had dropped theirs as the little red stone had disappeared in the tall grass of the yard. _

_All of a sudden, red stunners started shooting at the Death Eaters from outside of the wards, seems the aurors were not taking any chances. _

_Two minutes later their perception shifted once again and they were now in Knockturn Alley watching a similar scene. Stunners were shooting towards the minions, with the minions currently not stunned, randomly shooting out nasty curses in green, red, purple, and sickly yellow-green. Another thirty seconds later, all of the Death Eaters dropped as the blue stones knocked them all out. Harry's last sight before they were transported to Azkaban was of an unconscious Lucius Malfoy being apprehended. _

_Azkaban, with Bella's team, was quite different. The DMLE had taken Harry's advice to stock the area surrounding the cells the Death Eaters portkeyed in with Dementors. The hundred or so chilly soul sukers were enough to effect all of the minons and distract them to the point where they could not even retaliate once the Aurors started stunning them. By the time Harry and Snape arrived, all of them were either stunned from the stunners or knocked unconscious from the yellow portkeys they all had on their body. Now the Aurors were fitting each of the minions with magic blocking bracelets while collecting the wands. _

_That scene replayed itself as they sifted back to the Shrieking Shack, and then back to Knockturn Ally. By the time they were shifted back to Azkaban, most of the minons were processed and locked away in their very own cell with a personal Dementor each. On their last three shifts through each of the scenes, all the Death Eaters were being transferred to Azkaban…those not already there… and placed within the cells. _

When the last memory concluded, Harry and Severus were pushed out of the pensive. Harry then proceeded to whoop with joy and hug Severus before he realized what he was doing and jumped back.

"In the light of this success I will forgive the hug." Severus stated, hints of amusement flashing in his eyes. "Now have you concluded your ideas and plans on disposing the Dark Lord yet?"

Harry perked back up, "Yes, I have. Follow me." He then turned and opened the door, only to be met with a most unexpected sight.

A fat, balding, and bleeding man stood on the other side, arm raised to knock on the door so that he could gain entrance.

"Wormtail!" Harry attempted to hide his shock at seeing the man, a man who was supposed to have been captured not too long ago. "What is the meaning of your current state?"

He walked back to his desk, Severus taking the spot to his right, while Wormtail dragged himself in to cower in front of the desk.

"My Lord," he started, "something went wrong, there must be a traitor in your ranks."

He put a glower on his face, more for the fact he was upset Wormtail got away, rather than what Wormtail thought it being for the spy, "Report."

"The portkeys took us to our intended destination," Wormtail started, "and we were regrouping after the transportation when stunners started shooting at us. I shifted to my rat form as the first stunners started firing. I figured you would want someone to report back with what happened. I am not sure what happened, but those not taken down by the stunners then fell down. Then Aurors started swarming the scene capturing all of your Death Eaters. I ran towards the forest before shifting back. I went to grab my portkey when I realized I no longer had it on me. I apparated back as soon as I could so that I could report to you, My Lord."

Unfortunately for Wormtail, Harry had started growling with his anger at the beginning of the rat's report. Harry had not anticpatated one of the minions escaping…how was he to know one of them would be stupid enough to drop their so-called life line, then he realized who most of the minions were and his question was answered.

By the end of Wormtail's report, Harry had come to the conclusion that Wormtail escaping was actually a good thing, well not good, but he could defiantly take advantage of the situation. Recalling a spell, one opposite of the Homorphus charm, the charm to reverse an animagus' form, Harry quickly cast it causing the disgusting man to transform into his rat form. Harry then cast a body bind on the rat before he came to his senses enough to realize something not right was going on with his Lord.

"Severus," Harry started as he picked the paralyzed rat up, "So you know the spell to conjure an unbreakable cage up?"

Smiling, the greasy man responded by conjuring up such a cage and handing it to Harry. None to gently, Harry placed the rat within the cage and conjured a garish pink ribbon, which he tied around the cage before finishing it off with a bow.

"You can conjure a bright pink ribbon, but not a cage?"

Harry shrugged the question off as he really didn't want to get into it…as it was quite embarrassing to him…before writing a quick note.

_Amelia Bones _

_Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement_

_Within this cage resides an animagus. Not just any animagus though, he is a Death Eater who escaped this morning's gathering. His name, when in human form, is Peter Pettigrew, a man long since thought to be dead, murdered by one Sirius Black. _

_I hope that this letter, and the veritaserum confessions from the rat should be sufficient to right an injustice. _

_In 1981, the Potter family went into hiding underneath the fidelus charm. October 31 of 1981, Voldemort was given the secret of their location and he attacked the family killing Lily and James Potter and attempting to kill Harry. The next day, Pettigrew was 'seen' confronting Sirius, before he was blasted apart and Sirius was captured and sent to Azkaban until he escaped two years ago. _

_Unfortunately, events were not how they appeared. When the Potter's went into hiding, Sirius felt that he would be the obvious choice for their secret keeper. So the Potter's turned to their other friend, Pettigrew, to be their secret keeper, for who would ever think the wuss of a man would be chosen over Sirius. _

_On Halloween, Pettigrew went to Voldemort, as he was an undercover Death Eater at the time, and told him where the Potter's were hiding. The rest of the night went as history tells. _

_The confrontation between Pettigrew and Sirius, was actually Sirius confronting the rat. Pettigrew, turning the meeting in his favor, cut off one finger (the largest bit of him found) while shouting at Sirius. Pettigrew then sent a blasting curse at the sewer line, blowing up the street, killing thirteen muggles, before he shifted to his rat form and escaped. _

_Sirius was found at the scene and was sent to jail without a trail, a trial which would have seen his innocence._

_I hope that this innocent man be pardoned of crimes he did not commit and be compensated for his years in prison, while Pettigrew be punished to the fullest extent of the law. _

_Sincerely, _

_Tired of War_

Harry attached the letter to the cage, before sending the cage, rat, and letter, via portkey, to Madam Bone's office. Soon, his beloved Dog…Godfather would be free, if all goes well.

"Harry," Severus pulled him out of his happy musings, "you were going to show me your plans."

"Oh ya!" Harry walked out of the office and made his way back to the Malfoy apparating room, "we need to go back to Voldie's mansion as I have most of it set up there."

Back at the mansion, Harry led Severus to the potions lab. "The first step of my plan," Harry paused for dramatic effect, when Severus gained his 'I'm-going-to-torure-the-dunderheads' look, he quickly started again, "was making this!" He then pulled out his lifelike Voldie Dolly, "This is a…"

Severus cut Harry off, "A voodoo doll. Do you really think a voodoo doll is going to work? When you get sent back to your body, you cannot take the doll with you, so how are you planning of using it to kill the Dark Lord?"

"Humph" Harry let out an irritated sigh, "If I could finish I will answer all of your questions. Yes, this is a Voldie Voodoo Dolly…I might sell the idea to the twins as a joke product after all this is done. Anyway, I brewed this yesterday…"

He was cut off once again, "That is Mahoney's Poison, and it looks to be brewed correctly once again, congratulations. I, of course, expect you do to better in my class this next year."

"Of course," Harry quickly agreed, "and yes it Mahoney's Poison. Anyways, using a timed delayed spell , the doll will not be dropped into the potion until the moment Voldemort have taken back his body and I am sent out. Voldemort will be dead within three minutes, and the war will be over. "

While Severus was thinking over the plan to find any flaws, Harry went ahead and set up the scene. He cast a stable, levitation charm on the doll, to be released by the time delay spell on the seventh day when he was no longer in the body. The set up took less than five minutes.

In that time, Severus could only find one flaw. "While there is only a three minute window, there is still the smallest of chances that someone could come to the manor with the antidote."

"Less than one millionth percent of a chance." Harry responded.

"Still," Severus came back with, "why take the chance?"

"Fine, what do you have in mind?"

"A ward, I can set one up to prevent anyone from entering the mansion for the first thirty minutes from entering before it goes back down."

Harry really did not have to think on it as it was a good idea and would cancel out ANY chance of Voldemort not dying. "Ok, you can set it up tomorrow. I have something else in mind for tonight. The first night that I took over Voldie's body, I found his very secret room, and I think we can both enjoy it tonight."

Hearing the words Voldie, secret room, and enjoy, caused Severus to feel concern, not only for himself, but Harry's mental state if he thought anything of the Dark Lord's would be fun. But, as concerned as he was, he was also a little curious at what harry found, so he followed the boy. They walked out of the potions lab up a flight of stairs, down the hallway, into a closet, and up a secret flight of stairs into a room filled with one of the bests sights Severus had ever seen in the Dark Lord's presence; lining the four walls except for where the door and one window were positioned, was shelf upon self of liqueur and alcohols form all over the world; both magical and muggle.

"House Elf!" Harry called out.

A popping sound announced to the room that the house elf had joined them in the room. "Yes Master, what can House Elf do for you today?"

"We need cups, ice, and snacks, lots and lots of snacks."

With their items in hand and the house elf gone once again, the two preceded to partake of each of the bottles along the wall. After all, how could you tell whether muggles or wizards made better drinks if you did not try them all? And sometimes one had to taste them more than once to tell…so they did.

**So so so sorry it took so long to post this chapter. I am a super TA for a class of 135 ish students and they had a test this last week; I had to give two reviews, then grade their open ended tests (with partial credit) on top of going to my own classes and teaching my lab. To make up for the length between posts, this chapter is longer than the others…actually the length came about as I had all of this chapter planned and it just took this long to write it all out. ^.^ Anyways….Thank you all so much for reading my story! A big special huge thanks to all of you who have marked the story as favorite, put it on alert, marked me as the same, reviewed the story…or all or some of the above. Please let me know what you think…all writers love to see reviews, and I am no different. Thanks again. ^.^**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Characters.**

**Chapter 7/9**

**This story came to me in the usual way…overindulgence of caffeine and sugar (is there any other way?) ^.^**

**The Dark Lord's Much Needed Vacation**

July 10th

~*~*~*~*~Day Six~*~*~*~*~

Opening his eyes the next morning sent Harry into a whimpering state of pain, that did not last long…the whimpering that is… as the sound just exacerbated the pain in his head he was feeling from the light hitting his eyes. Waiting a few minutes with his eyes closed, he started to remember a bit of what went on yesterday to cause his current predicament. Both he and Sev were quite enthusiastic in their taste testing of Voldie's alcohol; not a good thing in Harry's case as this was the first time he had really been exposed to alcohol …past some shots or a mug. Hopefully somewhere in this mansion was a vial of hangover cure.

His memory of the night before started getting fuzzy somewhere after his fifth mug of the muggle brews, completely masked after the third or fourth mug of wizarding kind…so about 9 mugs into the binge…maybe?

He was contemplating opening his eyes once more when he felt the pressure against his midriff twitch. Someone was laying on his stomach…he could now hear the quite breathing…in and out, in and out. He tried to recall why there would be a body in his bed…the only person who was at the mansion before his memory failed was Sev.

Harry's eyes snapped open and he jolted up into a sitting position throwing the body using his stomach as a pillow off the bed. The resulting yelp and subsequent standing of the thrown body caused Harry to evaluate the situation before he started panicking. Severus Snape was fully clothed; as was Harry as he found out when he looked beneath the covers. The other realization was that Sev must have slept on top of the covers to be thrown the way he was. All of which when added together brought Harry to the conclusion that nothing untoward had happened the night before in their haze.

Sev must have come to the same conclusion as he just held his painful head, trying not to move for a few seconds to settle his flighty stomach.

"Harry, do you remember…" he started.

Harry cut Sev off as he could tell the rest of his question, "Not after the mug of Stormy Sky. You?

"About the same. Do you know where we could find a hangover cure here in the mansion?"

"Potions lab?" Harry stated in such a way as to make it seem like a question.

He guessed Sev…he and Sev must have come to grips with each other, hashing out their problems while drinking, if he was consistently calling Sev, Sev, even if only in his mind…must have agreed with him as he started stalking off to the potions lab from the bed room. Entering to lab they immediately started going through the cabinets and supply closets, finding numerous, interesting, if deadly potions, but not the one they were looking for.

Thirty minutes of searching they were no closer to finding the cure and their heads were still achy and their stomachs were still queasy. Normally not one to give up, Harry decided to call in reinforcements.

"House Elf!" Causing the two men to cringe at the strength of his yell.

"Yes master?" the little guy really was quick to answer calls.

"Does Vo…I mean do I have any hangover cures in the mansion?"

"No master, you finished off the last two vials with Mrs. Lestrange after your reunion celebration the morning after your return to human form. Do you need anything else?"

Harry was about to ask the elf to find him some anyways, but he saw Sev start to collect the ingredients necessary to brew the potion. "No I have no further orders, you are dismissed." 

As soon as the elf was gone, Sev set up a cauldron over a low flame with the required one forth cauldron water base to warm. Wanting to help, Harry started shredding the fig leaves. Sev had to stop him from throwing the leaves in five times before they were required for the potion. Harry blamed the mishaps on the fact that he had never brewed this potion and not on his pounding head and the Sev's repetition of the instructions.

After throwing the leaves in at the right time he went to prep another ingredient, but before he could Sev sent him to sit on a stool that was out of the way. A few minutes later Sev joined Harry as the potion had to stay over heat for exactly ten minutes before the potion was pulled off and they could take it…once it cooled down.

They stood there in silence for those ten minutes before Sev moved back to the cauldron and used a cooling charm on it once it was removed from the fire; this potion must not be affected by the use of active magic. As soon as Harry swallowed the vile vial of hangover cure, Sev handed him, his head ache and achy stomach dispread.

"Thank you Sev, I feel much better."

Severus swallowed his own vile before responding. "You are most welcome Harry. What are your plans for today?"

"Um;" he actually had to think about it for a bit "well, Voldie had a lot of interesting items in and bout the house, as well as a ton of really dark objects, I think I am going to dispose of the dark objects and claim those I am interested in via right of conquest."

"That is rather Slytherin of you Harry, in fact most of this week you have been much more Slytherin than Gryffindor."

Harry smirked a very evil smirk…it might not have been that evil if he were in his own body, but as he was currently possessing the darkest dark lord in history, it was quite evil looking.

"Someone truly cunning and ambitious would know not to be sorted into a house most loath and automatically label the members residing there as dark, espceilly if they had already beat a dark lord once before."

He had the dubious pleasure of watching Sev's face pale at the insinuation in his statement.

"Dear Merlin, please tell me you are joking!"

"The Sorting Hat did say I would do well in Slytherin."Harry tossed Sev a smirk as he walked to the door, "Good luck on the wards."

The last glimpse of Sev he got, was the poor man whimpering quietly within the lab, hopefully he would come out of it soon as the wards needed to be in place before tomorrow. Harry's first stop was one of three storage rooms filled with various objects.

Unlocking the door with a drop of Voldie's blood and a parseltongue password, he walked in and had to sigh. He only had one day to go through all the items and books throughout the mansion, and there was a lot to go through. Harry quickly conjured a bunch of cardboard boxes and got started.

In a jewelry box he found a necklace with an unbreakable curse, which according to the diagnostic charm he cast on it, would suck one year off the life of the wearer for every day they wore it. A similar box to the first yielded a silver colored ring with several empty setting that was charmed so that only the wearer could remove it of the wearers own free will. Harry decided to done the ring and think of a use for it later…he did not want it to get lost in the boxes he was packing. When he placed it on his finger, it resized and morphed from plane silver colored ring to a snake, the empty settings acting as scales to be filled.

Harry only found a few more salvageable items in the room, as most were like the fist necklace he found; cursed with deadly, unbreakable curses. Once everything in the room was packed into boxes, he separated and marked the two filled boxes he wanted to keep form those marked to be destroyed.

"House Elf!" Harry called out to the chief house elf once more.

The small pop, announcing his presence, House elf inquired into what his 'Master' wanted of him.

Gesturing to the right side of the room and ten large boxes, "I would like those boxes and the items contained within to be destroyed before tonight."

The elf snapped his fingers causing the boxes to disintegrate into dust, another snap causing the dust to disappear. House Elf did not ask why the Dark Lord wanted his prized possessions destroyed due to the fact that no one other than the Dark Lord was allowed to enter into these rooms.

With the first room done, Harry made his way into the other, leaving the boxes of what he wanted to keep within the room to be gathered later. From rooms two and three, Harry collected another seven boxes of items he wanted to keep, while calling House Elf to come and destroy another twenty five boxes. Among the treasure he decided to keep, Harry found another two pensives, five wands, one of which was almost as good as his personal holly and phoenix feather wand, various snake themed jewelry and figures, and a remembrall, currently filled with a dark red smoke.

Trying to recall, just what he had forgotten, Harry made his way to the library. Giving up for the moment, he would no doubt remember later, he turned his attention to the books in front of him. As there had to be over a thousand books, he decided instead of going through them all to separate the dark books from the light ones, he would just pack them all and go through them at a later point in time. Harry also could not bring himself to destroy knowledge, on whichever side of the spectrum it landed on. Unless, the books had information in it regarding the creation of horcruxes and the other completely dark ritual 'how-to-guides', Voldie had used.

Harry went to pack the very last book, the prank book he had pulled out earlier, into the last box when he came up to the solution of where to store his boxes. He quickly sealed the last of his boxes and transfigured the box into a small emerald gem, which he put into one of the empty settings of the snake ring he found earlier. Last year he came across a passage, describing how containers filled with various things could be transfigured into charms or other small items for better storage. When one container was needed, the transfiguration could be canceled and the item retrieved; perfect for what he wanted to do. Soon the empty settings of his ring were filled with emeralds and jet gems. Harry would need Sev to hold the ring and return it to him once he was in his own body.

All of the paper work in the office, Harry packed into boxes and send to the DMLE. Along with capturing the Death Eaters at the scene, having detailed records on each, including what missions and activities they participated in, as well as any people the imperius curse had been cast on and what actions the spelled did for the cause, would help…a lot.

Tripping over one of the boxes as he turned to start shrinking the boxes, he fell down and came face to face with just what was causing the remembrall to turn such a dark red color. Harry quickly shrank the boxes, placed them within a small parcel, grabbed the remembered object with a gleeful, demonic grin, then raced towards the tower housing Voldie's messenger owls.

Within minutes, Harry was watching a brown, barn owl carry off the package to the DMLE and a brown and white, screech owl carrying a long tube like parcel towards a certain someone. Self imposed mission complete, Harry made his way to the potions lab to see if Sev was done with the wards and up for a late lunch.

Albus Dumbledore had just walked into his office after eating dinner with those professors who remained at the castle over the summer, when an owl with a rather large package started tapping on his window. He quickly let the unfamiliar owl in and relived it of its burden, free, the owl took off back out the window not taking a rest after such a long journey.

Being cautious, something which allowed the hundred and fifteen year old man to reach such an age, especially after several wars with various dark lords, Dumbledore cast a diagnostic charm over the package and letter attached to the outside of it. When the spell proclaimed the items clean of any magic whatsoever, he quickly plucked the letter off and started reading.

_Dearest Dumbledore,_

_Enclosed is a gift for all of the hard work you have put into this war and the 'Greater Good'. It takes a man such as you to do what needs to be done for the good of all. I do so hope you enjoy. _

_Sincerely,_

_One who has _benefited _of your actions. _

This was not the first time he had received such a gift from a fan of his, though most came after he defeated Gellert so long ago. Pleased, he quickly opened the gift, pulling out what seemed to be several large, muggle pictures from the tube holding them.

Intrigued, He slowly unraveled the pictures. Upon seeing what they were pictures of, his eyes widened, before they rolled up into his head, and Albus Dumbledore passed out into a cold faint.

The very first poster he saw was of Lord Voldemort posed as seductively as a snake man could be, robes falling open to show bare chest to navel, biting his finger, and one eye closed in a wink. The rest of the poster, if Dumbledore were to finish looking through them would have shown Voldie in other saucy poses except for the last one, an upper torso and head shot of Voldie smirking at the camera…the very same smirk Harry used for his Voldie Dolly.

**Once again a HUGE thanks for reading my story! And, a special, big thanks to those of you who have favorited, alerted, or reviewed my story…THANKS! I will attempt to get the next chapter out as soon as I can, it may take a while as the class I TA for is having another test next week and I have a demo show next weekend to work at. Please, please, please, let me know what you think of the story…be it good or bad…though if it is bad, please give thoughts on how to correct as well. Thanks again!**

**-Childofflameandwave **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Characters.**

**Chapter 8/9**

**This story came to me in the usual way…overindulgence of caffeine and sugar (is there any other way?) ^.^**

**The Dark Lord's Much Needed Vacation**

July 11th

~*~*~*~*~Day Seven~*~*~*~*~

Today was the last day Harry would inhabit Voldie's body and he could not say he would miss it. Though, in one week he did more to end the war than anyone else in all the years Voldie had been operating. Of course he had a slight advantage over the rest, being as he had an inside view of the dark side's operations for years. There was only one last thing Harry had to do before the end of the week.

"House Elf."

"Yes Master?" the elf answered hesitantly… a house elf's magic lets them know the moods of their masters; and his Master had something in mind that might prove detrimental to the elves.

"I want you to gather all of the elves in my service and have them here in the office in five minutes."

Harry watched the elf nod…then he just stood there in front of him, not moving. Within in thirty seconds the office was full of eleven house elves; apparently house elves have some sort of magic to call others of their kind connected by masters. A twelfth pop announced the last elf and Harry knew it was time.

"In the next few days I have a very important operation that must be done with precision. Any type of magic not my own will disrupt the rituals involved. On that note for the next week starting after I speak, all of you are to remove yourselves from this location. You will NOT return until exactly one week…even if you hear me calling for you or threatening you. Some of these rituals may cause me immense pain or to hallucinate, and cause me to call out in the next day or so. This is a direct, unbreakable order. You are dismissed!" Harry barked out.

The house elves must have been used to weird orders like this as; they seemed very much relived as the popped off. They must have been able to tell somehow that Harry was between two options; banishing them for a week (the option he chose) or giving them clothes or gifting them to Hogwarts never to return. He went with the former, as Harry felt it was more humane; he may have been living in a Dark Lord's body, but he wasn't one.

Now that the elves were taken care of, Harry was finished. He recalled some stories some of the people on Private Drive told him a long time ago. In one of them there was this guy who spent six days doing something and on the seventh day when he was done he took a break. From what he could remember it may have been from a religion as his Aunt called those people who told him the story uber religious. Apparently one day they overheard his Aunt and one of the other neighbors talking about their 'troubled' nephew and form that point they tried to save his life, or soul, Harry could not remember which, by telling him a bunch of old stories. As today was the seventh and last day, and Harry was now finished with his 'creation', he was going to take the day off…he deserved a break.

This was the best week of Tom's life. On this, his last day, he had a full day planned, or rather his girls had a full day planned.

He pushed back the bed covers and got out of his bed, before moving towards his full sized mirror. Gazing at himself, Tom slowly stretched his arms above his head, flexing the muscles he gained upon gaining his new body.

"Aw, the wonders of a youthful body."

Unlike the horcurx keeping house in his real body, Tom was able to pose naked in front of the mirror admiring his…youth. In fact, Tom even had the first ten minutes of each day this week devoted to gazing at his physique alone in front of his mirror.

Ten minutes worth of posing later, he slipped into the bathroom so that he could cleanse himself. Violet was waiting for him inside. This morning Violet was draped in a light purple sheet, held toga like on her body by an amethyst snake broach.

"Good morning Tom. Would you like a nice slow, relaxing bath," Violet gestured towards the large tub, room enough for five or so people, "or a fast, fun shower?"

He didn't have to think too long, after all today was a very busy day.

"Shower!"

Violet smiled a slow smile at him, as soon as he stepped into the large shower and she had his attention she released the snake broach. She stepped out of the sheet pooled at her feet and then sauntered seductively and joined him in the shower.

Being a magical shower, the water started as soon as the two were within, the temperature just right. Violet grabbed the pine scented shampoo Tom loved and squeezed a generous amount into her hand, before maneuvering behind Tom. In position she lathered the shampoo and worked it into his hair, making sure to use her nails to gently scrape his scalp as she worked. When she was finished, Tom moved to rinse his hair.

By the time he was finished, Violet already had a soft washcloth filled with a special gel-like potion meant to excite the senses and cleanse the skin. She started working it into his well muscled shoulders and back, moving down to his firm buttocks, then to his legs. Violet then maneuvered to his front where she started all over again, avoiding only the area most excited about her touch.

Tom loved taking showers with Violet…mush better than the showers with Bellatrix. Bella's showers always included lots of pain and blood with a minuscule amount of pleasure, while Violet's showers were always nice.

He let out a moan as Violet started to kneel before him to take care of the area she had previously missed.

Twenty minutes later Tom walked arm in arm with Violet into the kitchen, where Rose was finishing their breakfast. She, like Violet earlier, was wearing a sheet in toga form, though hers was a mauve color held together with a snake broach with pink sapphires.

Rose looked up from the last dish she was preparing and watched as Violet led Tom to his throne-like chair in front of the table, "Good morning Tom."

Turning around with the bite sized cinnamon bits, Rose made her way over to Tom. He was sitting in his seat while Violet was perched on the arm rest trailing her fingers though his hair. She took her place on Tom's lap.

While Violet was taking care of Tom's needs in the shower, Rose was in the kitchen preparing Tom's last breakfast. She made sure she had all of his favorites; mini bagels with a thin layer of cream cheese and smoked salmon, rolled omelet bites, little bits of fruit filled pastries, and cinnamon bites without the nuts.

Using her fingers, Rose collected one of the warm fruit pastries and held it to Tom's lips. Tom took the offered pastry and managed to such the gooey icing form her fingers in the process. The rest of breakfast went along in this manner, much like it had all week. Though every couple of tidbits of food were offered via being held with Rose's lips rather than her fingers, interspersed with a sip of fruit nectar made fresh every morning for Tom.

After breakfast, Ivy, dressed like the other women in a green toga held with an emerald snake broach, came and collected Tom. Ivy brought Tom outside of their bungalow to the beach where a cushioned table rested upon the beach sand. Rose and Violet stayed within to prepare for the rest of the day with Tom.

Once Tom was resting, face down on the table, Ivy started with her specialty; massage. At the beginning of the week when Tom first came, his back while youthful was full of severely tense muscles; a week of her special messages, and his back muscles were nice and loose.

Using her special warming oil, Ivy started digging her fingers into his back, eliciting moans from Tom as she worked the muscles thoroughly relaxing the man. Once the oil was rubbed in, Ivy collected the lotion she made to enflame the body. She squeezed a generous portion onto his back, before conjuring a pole perpendicular to Tom's body. Flipping onto his back, Ivy used the pole to for balance as she worked the lotion into his back using her skilled feet and toes.

Ivy left Tom to Violet, once she was finished, now that he was both relaxed and aroused. Violet dragged Tom into the surf, the massage table dissolving behind them, while nipping lightly at his bottom lip. She was very insistent as she positioned him into lying on the sand with the surf washing over their legs and hips. Tom was not resisting; he decided to take control this time and flipped violet over so that he was on top.

So much better than with Bellatrix.

Tom awoke later that day in bed with all three women; Violet, Rose, and Ivy, each nibbling or sucking on some part of his body. Glancing at the clock he realized he had very little time left with the three as it was nearing 3 A.M.

His last day was wonderful. Rose prepared his favorite foods and drinks for lunch and dinner; including various mixed fruit drinks, pastries, chocolate disserts, and various meat dishes. Of course each dish was prepared as bite sized morsels feed to him in a similar manner as breakfast was.

Ivy, wonderful Ivy, would make sure she was relaxed after each meal of Rose's and each visit of Violet. Each massage used a different technique of message and each message had very specific homemade oil or lotion made just for Tom by Ivy.

While Violet, well Violet, was schooled in all forms of pleasure. Some of Tom's best memories this week came from moments spent in Violet's arms.

This last week was wonderful. Harry Potter the brat who refused to die never once passed through his thoughts. Tom decided that after this week, he would incorporate a week like this every two months or so; more if the months were more stressful than others. He already had several destinations in mind; most involved a beach in some way though with Ivy, Rose, and Violet …possibly more ladies to be added, he would have to look into it.

Violet moved from sucking on his earlobe to giving Tom a throat-swabbing kiss just as the clock struck 3.

"Goodbye Tom, love" He heard as he fell into an unconscious sleeping state, his seven day vacation at an end.

Harry had spent his day of rest having fun and acting like the child he never got to be when he was younger. Several hours this morning were spent jumping on the beds, mattress surfing, and painting rude figures and cartoons on the walls of Voldemort's mansion. Knowing that he would have to lead aurors to the mansion and cartoons of Harry whipping Voldie's butt painted on the walls would lead to awkward questions, Harry spent the next couple of hours painting over his cartoons and figures…it took so long due to the fact that each wall was covered in them.

He made sure that the Voldie Dolly was set. Being over cautious, Harry decided to put a simple ward…the only type he knew…over the doll and cauldron.

What time he had left before three in the morning, Harry spent cooking and eating. He did learn one valuable lesson…do not jump as fast as you can on a bed after eating a three course meal; even his cooking did not taste great on the way back out.

When the clock struck three, Harry was at the top of the stairs on a mattress just starting the next round of mattress surfing. Like Voldemort, as soon as the clock struck 3, he found himself unconscious, unfortunately for Voldie's body, for without a soul it pitched forward off the mattress, bouncing up and down the stairs to land in a heap at the bottom.

Tom awoke to pain at the foot of his stairs; his right arm, left ankle, several ribs, and his head were either broken or sore, his blood spreading in a pool underneath him and a mattress resting on top of him. Just what was his horcurx doing with his body all this time?

Elsewhere in the mansion, a time delay spell went off, causing the floating charm to release a doll into a vat of noxious liquid.

Tom was not given much time to dream up plans of revenge before his body seized and he felt no more pain. Thankful to be free of pain, he realized he was in even more trouble when he could no longer move his body.

He was able to call out though. "House Elf come!"

After a minute of waiting, he realized his elf was not coming. He tried several of his other elves, those whose names he could remember, but none answered their Master's call.

Realizing that something had gone wrong and he was stuck, his mind fell back into safety mode, blanking out the terror he felt at being so helpless.

With the passing of three minutes, Tom Marvalo Riddle, fell asleep into death, a smile on his face as his mind relived his last week with Violet, Rose, and Ivy.

In the smallest bedroom of Private Drive #4, a boy of fifteen awoke from the magical coma that held sway for the entire week, the soul having reclaimed its rightful body, before drifting off into a natural sleep dreaming of the Dark Lord's painless demise. For a boy told he would have to kill, he felt that the death he had chosen for his adversary was humane and that his own soul would be untouched because of it. If one were to look in at the sleeping boy, they would have seen a gentle smile starch across his face as he slept for the first time in a week.

**Thank you all so much for reading my story. I am terribly sorry for the wait on this chapter, the last two weeks have been hectic; what with tests, grading, conferences, and my father going to the hospital once again. **

**I tried to make the scenes of Voldie's vacation somewhat suggestive, but clean enough that anyone can read the story…please let me know if I succeeded.**

**A very special thank you for those who have marked my story with some sort of alert and those of you who have reviewed in the past. **

**The next chapter is the last chapter of the story so I hope you all continue to read. I am not sure when it will come out…I have a test on Wed and a paper to write over Thanksgiving, but I will be working on it (I already have it planned out…) so it should be soon. **

**Thanks again and please let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Characters.**

**Chapter 9/9**

**This story came to me in the usual way…overindulgence of caffeine and sugar (is there any other way?) ^.^**

**The Dark Lord's Much Needed Vacation**

July 12th

~*~*~*~*~Epilogue~*~*~*~*~

It was dark outside; stars lit the night sky, a full moon hanging low on the horizon. Harry was speeding through the empty streets in some sort of sports car in a brilliant green color. He had been driving around for a while, running lights and stop signs, never stopping. For all his speedy driving, Harry had no idea where he was going.

"OTTER HERE!"

Harry looked around as here drove, he did not see any otters. He did think it was strange that some sort of narrated voice would shout it out from somewhere…it was not over the radio, Harry had turned that off a while ago.

"STOP FREAK! I SAID…"

He tried to slam on the brakes, as Harry was conditioned to stop when that voice, in that tone, used those words, but the brakes didn't work.

Then Harry was spinning out of control, somehow he had found a bridge high over a large body of water. The spinning car crashed through the guardrail, and Harry screamed as the car rushed towards the water.

The bedroom door slamming opening brought Harry out of his dream, the scream upon his lips. It had been such a long time since he had normal seeming dreams or nightmares, most the last few years had been colored by Voldemort.

He turned towards the door, the cover falling from his bare chest.

"Harry", Sev started from the doorway, "I see you are awake. You are Harry right?"

Harry just chuckled before grabbing his wand and casting the morning spells he happened across at Voldie's; teeth cleaning, face cleansing, and hair combing…spells that come in handy when there is a lot to do with little time.

From his trunk he pulled out a clean shirt and a pair of pants, quickly dressing, forgetting that Severus Snape was standing in his doorway that is until Sev cleared his throat and reminded him of the fact.

"Heh heh," Harry laughed awkwardly as he buttoned his pants.

Once Harry was dressed, Severus walked into the room shutting the door behind him.

"Here is your ring."

Harry took the ring Sev was handing him and put it on. He really liked how the green and black stones went well with the silver setting; he would have to transfigure the boxes back to stones once he emptied his conquest items.

"Did you make the appointments yesterday?"

"Of course I did Harry." Sev responded rolling his eyes, "Do not expect to play secretary or minion from now on though."

"Never!" Harry before gigl…manly chuckling. Sev held his arm out to Harry, who quickly took it, before apparating them to the kitchen of headquarters where an Order of the Phoenix meeting was about to take place.

The kitchen was packed with Order members, Dumbledore…who just barely recovered enough this morning from the mental scaring obtained from the Voldie posters…stood at the head of the table ruling over the meeting. When the old man saw who was accompanying his spy he immediately started to protest…in his kindly grandfather way.

"Harry, my boy," Dumbledore started, "you are a few days early. Today we are having an Order meeting. I won't send you back as we were going to collect you in a couple of days anyways, but you will need to step outside. Your friends are upstairs I believe."

"No." Harry said as simply as he could.

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall, her voice stern and her eyes starting to bulge, she could not comprehend her golden student disrespecting the Headmaster.

Dumbledore on the other hand decided to take the no in a different direction. "Are you disagreeing that your friends are upstairs? You may be right, they could have moved to this floor. Upstairs was just the last place I saw them."

Harry rolled his eyes at the man's practiced obtuseness. "I was not, in fact, disagreeing with you on the fact. I was stating that I would not be leaving the meeting, at least not until I have made the announcement I came to make."

Stunned silence met his declaration of intent, Harry decided to use it. "Voldemort is dead. The Death Eaters have all been captured." He met Snape's eyes, getting a nod, he continued. "Now I have other places to go and people to meet. Bye!"

"Wait, Harry," Dumbledore called out as he watched Harry take Severus' arm, "What are you talking about? What happened?"

"Read the newspapers," Harry called out with a grin as he and Sev apparated once again.

**The next few days and weeks saw many happy or disturbed people, depending on the article(s) that come out after July 12. **

_**Boy-Who-Lived Conquered He Who Must Not be Named**_

Special Interview with Harry Potter

Transcribed by a Dicta-quil

Reporter Luna Lovegood: Harry…I mean Mr. Potter, first I would like to extend a huge thanks from the entire Wizarding world for what you have done for us in this last week. I, and everyone else I would imagine, would love to know just went on.

Harry Potter: Well Luna, I hate to be cliché, but it all started October 31 back in 1981. As most of the books about that time have mentioned, my parents and I were hidden under a fidelius charm from Voldemort. That Halloween night, one of their closest friends betrayed them to the Dark Lord.

R LL: You mean Sirius Black?

HP: No, actually. The true betrayer was Peter Pettigrew, sometime soon the whole Black and Pettigrew story should be coming out as that man was captured in the big Death Eater bust a couple of days ago. Anyways, with the location of our house, Voldie decided to attack.

RLL: Why was he after you Harry, do you know?

HP: Whoops…there was a prophecy that Voldie became aware of…it stated that the one able to defeat him would be born as the seventh month dies…that much he heard. He did not hear about how he would mark his opponent as his equal… if he had he might not have attacked. But back to that night, most of what I am about to tell you next I recall when ever in the presence of a dementor or what I have deduced since that time. I can remember my mother pleading for my life before he killed her, a flash of green light, and then pain. It was later that I found out that somehow he managed to create a link between us with the mark he left on my forehead…marking me as his equal.

RLL: Fascinating…did you notice any increase in the Wrackspurts about when He Who Must Not Be Named came back.

HP: Not really…I had already affected the link with my own magic by then, limiting the connection between Voldie and me.

RLL: Interesting, after this can I look into that?

HP: Sure Luna, why not.

RLL: Great! Drat, the quill is still going. I should continue the interview. So Harry, just how did you manage to defeat the Dark Lord?

HP: Well, it all started a week or so ago when the Dark Lord decided he needed a vacation.

**Lord Sirius Black Innocent! The Truth Comes Out!**

On July 9th the Madam Bones received a letter and a rat held in an unbreakable cage. The letter explained that the rat was in fact an animagus and a Death Eater. The identity of the Death Eater threw the entire Department of Magical Law Enforcement department into an uproar; the rat was Peter Pettigrew, previously thought dead man who Sirius black supposedly killed fourteen years ago.

The letter went on to explain just what happened on October 31st, 1981 when the Potters were betrayed. After the attack, Sirius Black, current Lord Black, was the first person on the scene, who other than the Potter's, knew who the secret keeper was. Making sure his godson, Harry Potter was safe, he left to find Pettigrew.

According to the letter and Pettigrew himself, as soon as Sirius Black found him, Peter started to yell that Lord Black ad betrayed their friend, before he cut off his own finger, transformed into his rat for and escaped down the sewers.

With this new information Lord Sirius Black was given a trial, a right he was previously denied and found innocent. The Ministry of Magic will be giving reparations to the innocent man to make up for the time he was falsely imprisoned for as well as full apologies.

The letter, written by Harry Potter has been printed in full on page A2.

**Bellatrix Lestrange Questioned Fully Under the Truth Serum, Sordid Truth Comes Out**

Following is the transcript of Bellatrix Lestrange's trial.

Prosecutor: Not that we do not already know, but for completeness in the trial. Do you serve He Who Must Not be Named, otherwise known as Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord, and Tom Riddle.

Lestrange: Yes, I do.

Prosecutor: In what way do you serve?

Lestrange: In all ways. When my Lord feels puckish we start to… ****the following has been heavily edited as the descriptions are extremely sexual and mostly disturbing****

**Harry Potter Takes up a Hobby**

Harry Potter, hero of the wizarding world has taken up a most intriguing hobby; writing. Mr. Potter made the statement that his friend Severus Snape suggested that he use his various experiences to write about as forms of history and therapy(some sort of muggle thing).

At this time he has published three stories, the first two are autobiographies of his first two years at Hogwarts and the true adventures he and his friends experienced there; they are titled _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ (his first year) and _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_ (his second year). Harry Potter intends to write about all four years he has spent at Hogwarts thus far was each held its own adventure.

Mr. Potter's third book is a very different sort; when Harry asked said that this book helped with his therapy. The book entitled _Dark Night_, is the first in Harry Potter's adult series. Critics say the scenes are "very realistic". Witch Romance said the series was, "a work of steamy genius!" Kinky Wizards Magazine says, "Potter will revolutionize the romance market with his series". When asked for his inspiration for the series, Potter replied that it was all from his head.

**I just had to use the Harry Potter stories…I had not intended to do so when I plotted out the chapter…it just kind of happened. Anyways…**

**Thank you all so very much for reading my story and all of you who have marked it for an alert or as a favorite (or both) ^.^**

**I am very sorry for the wait…I had the chapter planned out but real life decided to rear its head with exams, finals, work, and home life drama. **

**I hope you all enjoyed the story! If you could leave a review about what you liked…disliked…anything to help my writing improve, I would be very grateful. **

**Thanks Again,**

**-ChildofFlameandWave**


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